As we spiral deeper into yet another dark and hopeless Chicago winter, were you lucky enough to peek through the CFS’s hoarfrosted window you might just spy me thumbing through my mighty physical media collection in search of content that takes place in a warm locale and—to remind me that I don’t have it so bad after all—features emotional and physical catastrophes of Shakespearean magnitude. (Frankly, just typing that sentence reduced my Seasonal Affective Disorder by 18%.)

The English Patient comes to mind. As does Lawrence of Arabia. The Mission. Out of Africa. Apocalypse Now. The Painted Veil. Then there’s Zulu. Barton Fink. Cast Away. Chinatown. And let’s not forget Joe Versus the Volcano.

However, all pale in comparison to my go-to SAD palliative: that subtitled gut-punch of family disfunction known as Jean de Florette and its sequel (second half really), Manon des Sources (translation: Manon of the Spring).

Written and directed by Frenchman Marcel Pagnol, the two works have an interesting history, first appearing as a 1952 film (Manon des Sources). It seems M. Pagnol had only just begun with the characters, though. An auteur in the truest sense (playwright, director, screenwriter, author, memoirist)—think Ethan Hawke, but fluent in the operation of a bidet—he expanded his original Manon screenplay into two novels, this in the early 1960s, known collectively as L’eau des Collines (The Water of the Hills).

It wasn’t until a quarter of a century later, however, that the story received its definitive film adaptation courtesy writer-director Claude Berri, who, in an effort to retain the epic scope of Pagnol’s novels, chose a running time of nearly four hours, a challenging prospect for derrières. Thankfully, Berri also chose to break the film into two parts, the first (Jean de Florette) ending in a cliffhanger the likes of which American audiences hadn’t experienced since TV’s Dynasty put us through hell with the “Moldavian Massacre” at the finale of season five.

Of course, being French and thus blessed with a more aesthetic, voluptuary nature, Berri chose to end his Partie Un not with exploding squibs but rather something decidedly more sybaritic:

Yet, despite Jean‘s seemingly low stakes compared to a wedding party raked by semi-automatic gunfire, the film featured enough intrigue to keep audiences hungry for the payoff, something that mercifully reached art-house cinemas just months later in the form of Manon of the Spring.

Make no mistake—despite my snarky tone, these two films rank highly in the CFS’s Canon of Classics™ and merit an annual viewing, the movie equivalent of my Rose fascination.

Thus, let’s take a short look at the complete opus and rate them across the five criteria (Heat, Intrigue, Dysfunction, Golden-Hued Cinematography & Artful Nudity) critical to alleviating my debilitating winter funk.

Jean de Florette

Synopsis—Recently discharged from the military, Ugolin (Daniel Auteuil), returns to his small village in Provence.

Though he stops by to say hello to his uncle, César (the great Yves Montand), the patriarch of the Soubeyran family, he generally holes up at his mangy farmhouse to tend to a handful of seeds he’s brought from abroad. It seems he’s developed a money making scheme but won’t reveal as much until he proves its feasibility. We soon learn those seeds are in fact carnations. Like the audience, César initially scoffs at the idea. However, his skepticism gives way to dollar signs in the eyeballs when he accompanies Ugolin to the market and witnesses how much a florist is willing to pay for the flowers.

Sensing an opportunity to restore the family name (it seems the Soubeyrans, once respected and powerful throughout the region, have fallen on hard times), César throws himself into the enterprise, suggesting to Ugolin that a nearby a plot of land would be perfect for the carnation farm.

Not only is the soil fertile, the plot also contains the key to growing anything in arid Provence: a spring (now semi-plugged from disuse). They’ll simply make an offer to the owner and—voila!—riches beyond believe.

Not so fast.

Things become quite complicated when a) their negotiations with the current owner go terribly wrong (he dies in a very French insult-and-hand-gesture-heavy altercation) and b) the land with the spring is willed to a hunchback named Jean Cadoret (Gérard Depardieu before he moved to Russia and ate the entire Crimean Peninsula). It seems Jean is a city dwelling tax collector who, along with his beautiful wife and daughter, plans to give the agrarian life a go.

Before the new owners arrive, however, Ugolin and César fully plug the spring to ensure Jean’s failure, a deed made even more dastardly by the fact that, long ago, César was betrothed to Jean’s mother, the beautiful Florette.

Despite the ever-present threat of drought, Jean and family initially succeed, using advanced farming techniques to yield a fine vegetable crop and raise lapins, techniques that uneducated bumpkins like Ugolin and César can only mock.

Alas, the hot Provence summer finally rears its sweaty head. Jean, desperate to keep his well full, must make dozens of grueling trips daily to a local water source. This proves unsustainable; his crops soon succumb to the heat. Despite the setback, Jean won’t be put off farming just yet. Alas, his drive for success (he can’t abide the idea of returning to the city) leads him deeper into financial and, eventually, psychological, ruin.

I won’t spoil the particulars of what happens next but, suffice to say, it involves a large sweaty Frenchman, a divining rod and too much dynamite.

In the end, Ugolin and César get their land and spring. (“In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, I hereby name you King of Carnations!”) But not before Jean’s daughter, Manon, secretly watches the two unplug the spring before running off in tears.

Manon of the Spring

Synopsis—Ten years have passed since Manon discovered the Soubeyran’s treachery. In that time, Ugolin’s carnation venture has thrived thanks to unlimited access to water.

César begins nudging his now-financially-secure nephew in the direction of marriage which, if a child results, would maintain the family line. Ugolin’s unfortunate (yet completely understandable) choice: Manon (the ethereally beautiful Emmanuelle Béart before she destroyed herself with plastic surgery), who, instead of returning to the city with her mother, had stayed behind to become a goat herder.

While rescuing one of her flock from a cave, Manon discovers the source of all sources in the region: Ugolin’s spring, the local town’s reservoir and the well it feeds. Intent on avenging her father (she blames not only Ugolin but also the townsfolk for keeping quiet despite knowing about the spring scam), she plugs the source des sources. No more eau, not even for the poor stray chiens!

This, of course, throws the region into chaos. The villagers suspect they’re being punished by a higher power for their treatment of Jean and ask Manon to participate in a religious procession to the well. However, Manon publicly implicates Ugolin and César in her father’s death. The two deny the charge but various townspeople come forth to corroborate the accusation.

Despite the public shaming, the fast-unravelling Ugolin professes his love for Manon and asks for her hand in marriage. Spurned, he retreats to his farm and hangs himself from a fig tree.

With the townspeople having atoned for their silence and César’s reputation in ruins, Manon decides to secretly unblock des sources resulting in what’s assumed to be a miracle.

Later, a shattered César is visited by Delphine, an old friend of Florette’s who reveals that a fateful misunderstanding between Florette and César years before has led to a cruel twist of fate that I won’t go into here for fear of ruining all the shocking revelations that come to light in a letter César eventually pens to Manon.

Suffice to say: désastre!

Debilitating Winter Funk Alleviation Rating

Chaleur—Jean: 10/10; Manon: 10/10 (Although portions the film(s) take place in all four seasons, the majority is spent in the height of summer, a time of cracked brown earth, dusty winds, oppressive sunlight and sweat-stained shirts, the odor of which no amount of eau de Cologne could possibly mask. The nose weeps, the heart’s fortified.)

Intrigue—Jean: 10/10; Manon: 10/10 (This is a dropkick. Not only does the first film feature a couple yokels conniving against a brave hunchback, part two has the beautiful daughter of the wronged man plotting and executing retribution.)

Dysfonctionnement—Jean: 10/10; Manon: 10/10 (Oodles. Ugolin seems to have but one friend, his conceited uncle. César can’t stop living in the past, lamenting that his family was once great. Jean can’t seem to figure out when to fold his farming hand. Townspeople abide by a code of silence, especially in relation to “outsiders.” Ugolin sews a piece of cloth through his nipple. Ugolin is a voyeur. César treats his deaf maid like merde. Et cetera.)

Cinématographie Heure D’or—Jean: 10/10; Manon: 10/10 (Every frame of Bruno Nuytten’s brilliant widescreen photography makes you want to step through the screen (despite the preponderance of dust in Provence.)

Nudité Astucieuse—Jean: 0/10; Manon: 10/10 (Nothing of note in the first part but in the second? Without sound like a leering old man (which is exactly what I’m sounding like), the sight of Mlle Béart’s post-bath frolicking could launch 10,000 ships.

Here are the trailers and—bonus—a Stella beer ad parody.