Let’s end this, shall we?

For those scoring at home, a summary of Parts One and Two:

#24 Never Say Never Again
#23 Die Another Day

#22 The Living Daylights
#21 The Man with the Golden Gun
#20 Octopussy
#19 Spectre
#18 Casino Royale
#17 Tomorrow Never Dies
#16 License to Kill
#15 Diamonds Are Forever
#14 From Russia with Love
#13 Thunderball
#12 The World Is Not Enough
#11 GoldenEye
#10 Moonraker
#09 On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

And now the final eight (nine, actually)…

#08 You Only Live Twice (1967, dir: Lewis Gilbert)

Song title: “You Only Live Twice”
Performed by: Nancy Sinatra
Music: John Barry
Lyrics: Leslie Bricusse

Featuring serviceable lyrics (And love is a stranger who’ll beckon you on/Don’t think of the danger or the stranger is gone) and a solid vocal performance by Nancy Sinatra (who was recruited after her father passed on the opportunity), “You Only Live Twice” is a fine addition to the Bond song canon. Frankly, the real star here—the reason it cracks the Top 10—is John Barry. Personally, I think this is one of the Bond composer’s finest orchestrations, combining his traditional lush string arraignments with a Far East-inflected vibe that sets just the right tone for this Japan-centric film.

#07 Live and Let Die (1973, dir: Guy Hamilton) 

Song title: “Live and Let Die”
Performed by: Paul McCartney & The Wings
Music: George Martin
Lyrics: Paul & Linda McCartney

Hopefully Mr. McCartney wasn’t paid by the word because, discounting repeated phrases, his lyric is a masterclass in concision, a dirty little secret that’s redressed by the song’s sonic fireworks, its lyrical opening piano notes quickly giving way to propulsive and dissonant guitars, drums, strings, brass and synthesizers. Nothing against Tom Jones and his mighty chest hair, but here was rocker unlike anything that had come before in the Bond series. Heck, even Linda on backing vocals sounds…OK.

The song also marks the first time since The Beatles split that McCartney worked with long-time producer (and some say 5th Beatle), George Martin, who, in addition to helping arrange the song, was hired to write the film’s score.

#06 For Your Eyes Only (1981, dir: John Glen)

Song title: “For Your Eyes Only”
Performed by: Sheena Easton
Music: Bill Conti
Lyrics: Bill Conti & Michael Leeson

Scottish singer-songwriter Sheena Easton was a hot commodity back in ’81, her anthem to ennui, submission and housewifery, “Morning Train (Nine to Five),” not just setting the #metoo back another 37 years, but also peaking at #4 on Billboard magazine’s US Hot 100. Of course, Easton also has the distinction of being the very first singer to actually appear in a Bond film opening title sequence, of which there had been 11.

Upon a close re-listen, the song holds up pretty well despite its rather “Adult Contemporary” vibe. (A vibe she’d jettison in 1984 with her performance of the Prince-penned, ultra-suggestive “Sugar Walls.”) Certainly the song holds up better than Bill Conti’s film score, a disco-infused travesty that immediately pinpoints it as a product of the late-70s/early-80s rather than the more timeless compositions penned by usual Bond composer John Barry, who sat this one out.

Bonus info-nugget: The film’s poster, which you can see above, was deemed too risqué for America’s daily newspapers and so was cropped to eliminate any suggestion of the woman’s derrière.

#05 Skyfall (2012, dir: Sam Mendes) 

Song title: “Skyfall”
Performed by: Adele
Music: Adele Adkins & Paul Epworth
Lyrics: Adele Adkins & Paul Epworth

After the funkiness of the previous Bond song, “Another Way to Die,” Adele was brought in to write something more in the vein of “Nobody Does It Better.” The result was hugely popular, the very first Bond song to win the Academy Award for Best Original Song.

A question niggles at the back of the mind, though: Was all the love due to the quality of the track or the popularity of its performer, Adele? (Her mega-selling album, 21, came out the previous year.) Personally, I think it’s a little of both. That said, it’s undoubtably a good song, complete with subtle Bondian flourishes, a lyric that intelligently weaves in the double meaning of “Skyfall” or “sky fall” (Let the sky fall/When it crumbles/We will stand tall/Face it all together/At skyfall) and, of course, Adele’s strong vocal.

#04 A View to a Kill (1985, dir: John Glen)

Song title: “A View to a Kill”
Performed by: Duran Duran
Music: John Barry 
Lyrics: Duran Duran

After the easy-listening disaster that was the previous Bond song, “All Time High,” performed by Rita Coolidge for the 1983 film Octopussy, the Bond producers came to their senses and handed the job to Duran Duran, the English synch-pop super band with, in equal measure, serious hair and a serious fanbase. The result? One of the more lively and relevant Bond songs, one that reached #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100, the first and only Bond song to achieve the honor.

Unlike Roger Moore, the song has aged pretty well and continues to be an audience (read: middle-aged folk) favorite when the boys gather every couple years to play casinos, outdoor music festivals and BBQ Ribfests in order to top off their retirement funds.

#03 Goldfinger (1964, dir: Guy Hamilton)

Song title: “Goldfinger“
Performed by: Shirley Bassey
Music: John Barry
Lyrics: Anthony Newley & Leslie Bricusse

Is there any more distinctive female voice than that of the great Shirley Bassey? Like Ella and Louis, her voice was generational, transcending the musical style de jour—disco, rock, rap, etc.—as evidenced by the Bond producers bringing her back two more times to kick off their film with class. The woman could make the lyrics of David Geddes soft rock travesty “Run Joey Run” sound like something written by Cole Porter. Anyway, between the lyric, arrangement and vocal, this is classic Bond, a non-brainer to make top-3.

Apropos to nothing, if you’re anything like me—which would be of questionable value—while listening to the song, one should expect to experience unbidden visions of a session trumpeter using the end of a plunger to make those distinctively brassy “Waa-waa!” sounds.

#02 The Spy Who Loved Me (1977, dir: Lewis Gilbert) 

Song title: “Nobody Does It Better”
Performed by: Carly Simon
Music: Marvin Hamlisch
Lyrics: Carole Bayer Sager

Good news/bad news about Marvin Hamlisch taking over composer duties from an unavailable John Barry, bad news first: the score stinks. It’s simply too slavish to the zeitgeist. As in, too disco. Which sounds great when the Bee Gees are writing for Saturday Night Fever, but not in a Bond film thank you very much.

The good news: working with crack songwriter Carole Bayer Sager and utilizing the unique vocal talents of Carly Simon, Hamlisch created an indelible Bond song…an indelible song, period. Let’s face it—one could hear it on the radio and have no idea it had anything to do with Bond. Because, unlike the theme songs that came before it, it’s not saddled with goofy names (Goldfinger?) or nonsensical lyrics (So he strikes like a thunderball!) or tell-tale Bond orchestral flourishes (lush strings, etc.).

Write this down and put it in your wallet: 100 years from now people will still be listening to “The Spy Who Loved Me” and thinking to themselves: That’s a pretty good tune. The same will not be said for “You Light Up My Life,” the drivel that beat it out for the 1978 Academy Award for Best Song.

#01 Quantum of Solace (2008, dir: Marc Foster) 

Song title: “Another Way to Die”
Performed by: Jack White & Alicia Keys
Music: David Arnold
Lyrics: Jack White

Yes, my choice for the best Bond song (well, almost…see #00 below) is probably one you don’t even remember. And while I’m hoping that’s more a function of the movie underwhelming/underperforming, deep down I know I’m probably going against the crowd on this one.

What can I say? I dig this song—the funky backbeat, the tinkling piano, the two of them volleying the lyric back and forth (this the first Bond-song duet ever). It’s the sound of two accomplished musicians having a good time with a plum assignment.

Sadly, my favorite part of the song doesn’t even appear in the opening titles (see video clip) due to time constraints (as in they chopped off some of the song). But if you ever venture to download the full track, check out the part a couple minutes in when Keys scats along to White’s electric guitar. Shades of Ella!

Anyway, at least It hit #1 in Finland.

#00 Spectre (Radiohead)

Song title: “Spectre”
Performed by: Radiohead
Music: Radiohead
Lyrics: Radiohead

It might comes as a surprise that, back in 2015, British avant-garde rockers Radiohead were asked to write the title track to the most recent Bond film. After all, it was Sam Smith and his squealing falsetto who performed “Writing’s on the Wall” (See #19) in Spectre. But asked they were and, excited at the prospect, took up the commission gladly, putting on hold sessions for their new album, A Moon Shaped Pool. Out of this came the song “Spectre.” The band’s reward? Zilch—the track was shelved by the Bond producers, who felt it too moody. Thus our ears were assailed by Mr. Smith.

But all wasn’t lost. Because Radiohead, proud of their efforts, decided to release the song via SoundCloud on Christmas Day 2015. Thus exposing the Bond producers’ idiotic blunder.

For the CFS, Radiohead can be very hit or miss. When they’re able to balance melody with dissonance (OK Computer, songs like “How To Disappear Completely,” “All I Need,” “Codex,” “Lotus Flower,” etc), they’re truly a pleasure. Other times they’re so avant-garde it’s not at all a fun listen.

Thankfully, “Spectre” gets the mix just right—its lush arrangement, melody v. dissonance, Thom Yirke;s sorrowful delivery, a dark, thoughtful lyric (I’m lost, I’m a ghost/Dispossessed, taken host/My hunger burns a bullet hole/A spectre of my mortal soul)—all coming together to make this the most artful Bond song in the canon.

Give the song a spin below. (Someone laid the track over the actual Spectre opening credits to give one the full experience, which, as you’ll see, works great.)