Conflicted Film Snob Sept/Oct/Nov Mailbag!

When one creates a blog this accessible, this entertaining, this literate, one must accept that, in due course, an incredible amount of electronic fan mail likely will pass over the transom. And while my introverted half would prefer to hide deep within the dark recesses of that ivory tower known as film knowledge/arcana, the extroverted side understands that it is critical to maintain a relationship with the great unwashed.

Thus, I have committed myself to quarterly responses to various comments, queries and suggestions received from my adoring public, a readership that now numbers in the mid two digits.

And so, without further ado, an actual sampling of comments received on www.theconflictedfilmsnob.com and my heartfelt responses. Keep ’em coming!

Unknown

1) Submitted on 2015/11/13 at 12:00 am

RE: cheap football jerseys

who “provides” artificial light during the shorter winter days so your chickens will continue to lay, therefor accelerating the process of healing. When performing rest ups or crunches, exhale as you may one-game ban for pleading no contest to misdem…

Conflicted Film Snob response: Much appreciate the “shorter winter days,” “chickens will lay” and “healing” references, all of which give me hope that my Seasonal Affective Disorder won’t overwhelm this long winter. Count me in for two of your “cheap football jerseys,” preferably for the Chicago Bears, although the Pittsburgh Steelers also will do. My Visa card number is 7394 9385 0934 9384, expiration 10/17, CVV security code 395. Thank you.

2) Submitted on 2015/11/04 at 9:42 pm:

RE: oakley sunglasses wholesale

I’m still learning from you, as I’m making my way to the top as well. I definitely liked reading all that is posted on your site. Keep the tips coming. I liked it!

Conflicted Film Snob response: It is indeed a long road “to the top” in one’s field. But when one finally reaches the summit, as I have, the view is brilliant, especially wearing a pair of high-quality sunglasses. Therefore, put me down for your most expensive Oakley sunglasses, preferably with polarized lens. I’d like to put this transaction on my Citibank MC, # 2938 7582 0082 3777, , expiration 1/16, CVV security code 268. Thank you.

3) Submitted on 2015/10/16 at 1:42 am:

RE: Privileged and Confidential

Here I brought a potential Business Proposal at your door step for consideration.I have a client that is interested to Invest in your Country and would like to engage you and your company on this project. The Investment Amount is valued at US$125 million.If you are interested,kindly include your direct telephone numbers for full discussion of this offer when responding to this email. Respectfully,

Poku Edwin Nyamaa
Barrister-At-Law

Conflicted Film Snob response: Poku, I am very interested in investing in your client’s $125MM (U.S.) business proposal! Rather than beat around the bush with formal introductions via “direct telephone numbers for full discussion[s],” let’s instead cut to the chase with my offer of any financial assistance you may need to make your client’s business dreams a reality in the USA! To that end, here is my American Express card information: 2889 3746 0699 7406, expiration 5/19, CVV security code 446. Respectfully.

4) Submitted on 2015/10/30 at 8:45 pm:

RE: elite nfl jerseys

and beverage producers. The cold involved in these refrigerators stop bacterial growth in its tracks, allowing the market for British manufactured retreads has been squeezed by cheap new tyres from the Far you can get the votes, Mr. President, you can…

Conflicted Film Snob response: No need to speak in riddles! It’s obvious when you refer to “these refrigerators stop bacterial growth in its tracks, allowing the market for British manufactured retreadsyou’re just teasing the final season of Downton Abbey, a show very close to my heart! Count me in for 10 jerseys. You pick the teams. Just throw it on my Visa, card # 7394 9385 0934 9384, expiration 10/17, CVV security code 395. Bless you!

5) Submitted on 2015/09/14 at 6:24 am:

RE: lucrative beneficiary

Hello, I wish to notify you that late Gianni Agnelli, had included you as beneficiary of his Will. He left the sum of sixty Million, Five Hundred Thousand Dollars (US$60, 500,000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his Will. This may sound strange and unbelievable to you; you are advised to contact Hollis Grey Chambers via our personal email address:  hollisgr@foxmail.com

Regards,
Hollis Grey Chambers

Conflicted Film Snob response: Mr. Chambers–or, if I may, Hollis–I’m humbled and, frankly, floored by the late Mr. Agnelli’s bequeathment. Although we never met in his lifetime, I’m sure he and I will have much to talk about when we meet up in the afterlife, Mr. Agnelli no doubt asking for clarification on my aspect ratio blogpost and me chestily explaining to him all the good I did with his “US$60,500,000.00.” I assume for this transaction to take place you’ll need a bank account number. Please deposit the sum (minus a $150 for your fine efforts in tracking me down) into my Chase checking account (7823894050), routing #93758325. Please have the happiest of (ooof!) hollisdays!

 

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